Dec 29

 

 

Top fittest horses win at $5.20

 

Quinella
13-11
$37.50
Exacta
13-11
$60.20
Duet
13-11
$12.50
Duet
13-1
$9.00
Duet
11-1
$22.70
Trifecta
13-11-1
$555.20
First Four
13-11-1-10
$2,513.00

Tips:

Look for value:

 

97%  13-12-7-15

96%  4-14-10

 

Tip fittest wins (13) @ $5.20

 

Jim

 

 

 

 

 

Dec 29

 

 

Got the lot, odds on favourite did not have a fitness edge over others on top line and lost.

 

Quinella
6-12
$5.60
Exacta
6-12
$19.40
Duet
6-12
$2.90
Duet
6-5
$11.90
Duet
12-5
$5.20
Trifecta
6-12-5
$107.80
First Four
6-12-5-8
$505.90

 

Tips:  Horses on top line quality types.

97%  12-4-2-6

96%  5-8-3

 

$650 in dividends, easy enough and nice start to a good day coming up.

 

Jim

 

 

 

Dec 29
Dec 28

 

 

BARBER        

(With a cheeky smile and gently pushing Frank backwards in the chest with both hands)  

You still haven’t lost those great wondering hands of yours, have you Frank?

               (PAUSE)  

So how have you been?

 

FRANK                              

Good and great to see you again BARBER!     

Your body looks amazingly terrific and very sexy!

So how long has it been now since we were together?

 

                                 

BARBER   (Finger to chin)            

Let me see now?  

You last seduced me on May 20th, 5 years ago at 11.06am after we shared a

hot dog lunch at a cheap road side food van.

Not that I remember for one minute how MUCH you said you loved me and wanted

me to cook, clean, wash, iron, mow the lawns and detail your car for you for ever and ever.

 

                              FRANK     (FADE IN)            

BARBER, you are the best house keeper I have ever known forgetting my great sex!

And your breast, what about those great breast; they haven’t changed an inch!

I always loved you BARBER, but my greedy ambitions to be filthy rich and famous and surrounded with beautiful, gorgeous women took complete control of my life at the time.     

Know I realise I was wrong because you were the best woman a man could ever want!

(Dropping his head, hands in pockets, kicking the dirt)

Tell me BARBER, you’re not on heat are you?

(A long pause, no answer)

So, what have you been up to?

                                   Cut to

                                                      

EXT       BARBER REMEMBERS WEDDING      DAY

     FADE IN:

BARBER     (Frustrated, angry)

After you dumped me, I was so sexually frustrated, 1 hour later I met and married MALA DA’ ESKIMO, a very handsome missionary priest from Peru.

We went to the fucking creditably cold North Pole for our honeymoon, because he said it was next to Peru.

He said he was looking for a tribe called the lost Incas for his family research.

 

FRANK                             

So what happened?

 

                  BARBER (In tears)

FADE IN: Image goes fuzzy and wavy as Barber remembers back to her wedding night)

 

 

 

EXT            THE HONEYMOON       NIGHT

 

Thick snow falling: Barber wears a furry coat and MALA DA’ESKIMO (35), tall, long black hair, furry coat on.

 

Mala drives a sleigh, whipping the dogs, with Barber sitting in it rugged up, stops in front of an igloo with neon signs flashing “Honey Moon Suite for Mrs and Mrs DA’ESKIMOS”

    

Mala HELPS Barber out of the sleighs and carries her in his arms into the honeymoon igloo.

                                            

                                                      

Cut to

 

                                                      

 

INT            INSIDE THE IGLOO    NIGHT

 

Inside the igloo there’s a long heated swimming pool, kitchen, king size bed, lounge room, pool table, interior decorations, helicopter, boat and videos of dancing music.

 

Mala lowers Barber down onto the bed. He takes off his fur coat displaying traditional Peru clothing (PERU MUSIC).

 

They kiss and cuddle and make love under the large white bear skin rug.

    

 

 

 

                                  

BARBER    (Lamp light)

 

That was so wonderful MALA.

 

I always knew you were the right man of many men for me.

 

                        

 

MALA

Me to darling and now we are married.

 

And now I also own an International Passport!

    

(Holding and waving his passport)

 

    

In the morning we will start searching for my long lost native tribe of the Incas we have come to find.

 

(They give each other a kiss and Barber reaches over and turns off the lamp light beside her bed.)                                                                               

 

Cut to

 

 

 

INT                 DARKNESS       NIGHT

 

Quiet, darkness.

 

                        

BARBER (Voice over)

MALA, are you there darling?

                        

(Barber turns on the light and Mala is missing from her bed. She climbs up, puts on a fur coat and walks out the igloo).

         

                                                            Cut to

 

 

 

                                                      

EXT            LOOKING FOR MALA    DAY

 

Barber calls out as walking in a snow blizzard.

 

 

 

BARBER

MALA!  Where are you my husband?

 

(Barber shields her eyes from the snow. In a haze, Barber see’s Mala cuddling a lady wearing only a red bikini.)

              

                                                      

 

Cut to

 

 

 

EXT            BARBER CALLS OUT TO MALA      DAY

    

Cupping her hands to her mouth.

 

 

                         BARBER (Shouting)

MALA is that you?

What is happening dearest?             

 

Cut to

 

 

                                                      

 

EXT            MALA DRIVE SLEIGH        DAY

 

The bikini lady gets in the sleigh as Mala prepares to drive off.

 

 

                         MALA   (Waving)

Ha Ha Ha!                                

 

I am not from Peru BARBER!

                   

I am Eskimo and this is my 12th wife!

                   

We are running away.                                                                

                                                      

Cut to

 

 

 

                                                      

EXT            BARBER ASK WHY      DAY

Walks chest deep through the snow

 

                        

 

BARBER  (Shouting)           

But, why MALA … why?

 

I thought you loved me!                                              

                                                      

Cut to

 

 

 

EXT            MALA CALLS          DAY

 

Mala stands on the back of the sleigh.

              

 

                        

MALA      (Calls out)        

BARBER, I never loved you

 

I only wanted citizenship so I can go to the super bowl and FA Cup!

 

I just love your football, you have to understand BARBER.

 

Cut to

 

 

 

                                                      

 

EXT            BARBER STANDS IN SNOW    DAY

 

Barber stands chest deep in snow.

 

 

BARBER

I understand MALA, men with big balls, have big ideas

 

(Scene goes fuzzy, wavering again, clears back to Frank)

                                                                                                                  

                        

MALA left me FRANK, he was not from Peru, but was from Eskimo and only married me so he could go to the big football games.

I was his 11th wife!

Oh, FRANK I am so unlucky in love!

(Barber takes out Mala’s boxer shorts from her hand bag)

I only have these left from our wedding night to remember him.

      (Printed red and white shorts: “To my 11th wife”, puts them back in her bag)                                 

 

 

EXT       FRANK AND MALA DA’ESKIMO      DAY

FADE IN: Scratches the side of his face.

                   

FRANK     (Cuddling BARBER)       

MALA DA’ESKIMO from Peru?

 

Oooh, poor BARBER, how could you be so naive?

(Frank leans over and smells inside Barber’s hand bag, turns and vomits, gathers himself)

 

 

Mr James Conway CEO 28.8

“The Best Fitness Tipping Site in the World!”

This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.

www.28point8.com

 

Dec 27

 

 

Good morning members 28.8 is back in the saddle Tuesday at Bairnsdale and

Sandown on Wednesday.

 

1st two races are free to all, just send me your mobile number.

 

Cheers

 

Jim

 

Mr James Conway CEO 28.8

“The Best Fitness Tipping Site in the World!”

This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.

www.28point8.com

 

Dec 25

 

 

From all the people at Gobble Gobble Racing Club, Gobble Gobble Town and not

forgetting the Gobble Gobble Nudist Club, we wish you all a Merry Christmas and a safe

day.

We are looking forward to our cup day meeting to save our club.

Cheers

Frank Bourke

 

Dec 23

 

 

Page 6

 

EXT       PRESS RELEASE       DAY                  

 

On the race course lawns standing on a stage, Frank holds a press conference.

20 broadcasting reporters are present sitting on chairs, the front row there are 5 young ladies seated with their legs open and their coloured nickers are visible.

 

Frank holds a microphone; stands in front of committee members behind him.

    

THE DRUNK, (65), 5’7”, 1920’s style baggy clothes, bowler hat, vest, his starched white shirt keeps rolling up to his chin; always holding a drink, staggers past in front of Frank, followed by James walking in robotic fashion.

 

Frank watches them pass.

 

FRANK                              

Welcome ladies and gentlemen to our 150th upcoming Gobble Gobble Cup meeting press release and we are excited to announce that we will be open to all with a mixture for dressed and naked punters.

 

Our local GOBBLE GOBBLE Nudist Colony is glad to support us and their members will be here for our great race day.

 

This is a unique novel idea for our club and we expect a boomer day for all, so everybody is welcome.               

 

Cut to

 

  EXT          BARBER SAYS HELLO TO FRANK    DAY

BARBER HAIR’DO (25), seated in the front row, slim, attractive, buxom, wavy short hair, red nickers are showing as her legs are open, sports reporter for the ACD Network.

 

BARBER   (Holding a mic)            

So you think this will work MR FRANK BOURKE?

 

                                         

FRANK (Sees BARBER, smiles)                  

Hi BARBER, Yes we do, there will be live music, food, refreshments, fashions on Parade, combined with a fantastic days racing highlighted by the running of the 150th GOBBLE GOBBLE Cup.

 (Frank gives Barber another big smile)     

 

BARBER                              

So it’s a nude race meeting you’re promoting?

                                                  Cut to

 

 

Ext   BARBERS RED UNDERWEAR  DAY

Frank stares at Barber’s red underwear.                                Cut to

 

Barber’s red nickers   (zoom in)    

                                                   Cut to

 

FRANK    (Perspiring)                            

Yes, you could call it that and we also are inviting any broadcasting networks,

offering then exclusivity rights.     

 

I am sure ratings would go through the roof and please have a chat to me later.

 

Mind you, all nudist will have to cover their lower parts.

 

BARBER                               

How many people are you expecting FRANK?

 

 

FRANK

(Perspires profusely looking at Barber’s red nickers, smiles of glee.)

 

We can cater for 8,000 visitors and the local community is 100% behind us, not only for our club to survive, but for the benefit of every person in GOBBLE GOBBLE Town as well.

 

BARBER, maybe your network would like to broadcast our meeting to your viewers?

 

 

BARBER   (Smiles)           

Possibly FRANK, the concept of A GOBBLE GOBBLE Naked Day at the races interests me!

 

 

FRANK   (Sweating)                     

We should have a chat afterwards?                                    

 

 

BARBER    (Fluttering her eye lashes)                         

My pleasure FRANK.

 

 

FRANK                               

Do we have any other questions?        

                             

Cut to

 

 

EXT            MEDIA REPORTER #1        DAY

 

 

MEDIA REPORTER #1 (With her legs open and black nickers visible)

What is the prize money for this year’s Cup going to be worth?

 

(FRANK is in a dream world and just about to answer until TED grabs his mic.)

 

TED                                  

I am the President of this club and this year’s GOBBLE GOBBLE CUP, with damn naked punters at my club, will be worth $100,000!

 

If there is no further questions, that now finishes this interview.                                                           

Cut to

 

 

EXT       COMMITTEE ARE AGASP      DAY

Ladies with legs open and short skirts stand up and adjust their dresses and walk away.

The committee are a gasp and surround Ted at this bad news.

 

 

BART     (Looking at TED)                     

What sort of a stunt do you think you’re pulling POTTER, offering $100,000 when you damn well know we haven’t got that sort of money!

 

TED                                

Listen, BOURKE ever since the last board meeting every-one has been running around

like headless chooks at how great this is going to be.

 

So let’s make it worthwhile!  Is that ok?                             

Or do we call off all this stupid nude crap and sell the club?

                                                        Cut to

 

 

BART   (FADE IN)                  

You know we cannot afford $100,000!

What you have done POTTER is just closed down our race club.                             

(Committee members mumble and shake their heads)                                                   

                                            Cut to

 

EXT       FRANK TOO LATE NOW       DAY

 

FRANK                              

It is too late now, the damage is done.  

We cannot back down.

 

Leave it to me, I have a few good ideas.

 

BART  (Pointing a firm finger at TED)   

At our next AGM POTTER, you are out!

 

I am going to win the Cup with MY FACE and donate the prize money back to the club.

 

(Committee clap and cheers Bart’s offer. Ted walks off in a huff, but is all smiles behind their backs.                        

                              Cut to

 

 

     EXT  THE PARK MEETING WITH BARBER      DAY

Frank and Barber meet in the gardens of the race course, Barber is seated on a park bench, legs open and red nickers showing, she stands and they immediately give each other a big hug and as Frank draws away, both his hands slide along the outside of her buxom breasts. He can’t help but look down.

 

To be continued:

 

 

 

Dec 23

 

 

Big day @ Sandown for members today. Win and Win more.

 

Over $8,000 in exotics called.

 

Jim

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