Next few scenes in the movies script I wrote.
EXT COURSE ANNOUNCERS TOWER DAY
A hideous laughter from the race course tower
Hehehehehehehehehehe! (Voice over)
EXT INTERVIEW WITH LADY ANNE PENELOPE DAY
In the stable area.LADY ANNE PENELOPE (50) 5’5” immaculately dressed in white, large pink hat, high society horse trainer, highly opinionated of herself, confident. Barber wearing a red dress.
Good afternoon LADY PENELOPE and welcome to Gobble Gobble Racing Club.
LADY PENELOPE (Head up, eye-lids fluttering)
It is such a pleasure to be here, do you like my new hat?
Yes, it looks lovely.
LADY PENELOPE (Chin up high)
Isn’t my new hat just wonderful?
I bought it in Paris after I won the Ascot Gold Cup in London.
Did you know I am the best horse trainer in the world?
Did you know that I have won 3 Kentucky Derby’s, 2 Melbourne Cups and 5 Arc’s?
Ha Ha Ha I have lost count of how many classics winners I have trained, Ha Ha Ha
BARBER (Gets angry)
Yes LADY PENELOPE, you have told us so many times over the years; frankly we are all sick to fu^%%#g death of it!
LADY PENELOPE (In a world of her own)
Ooooh! Oooh! Don’t talk to me like that! I am THE SUPER STAR of the turf!
Did you I am the best horse trainer in the world?
Do you like my new hat. (Hand on hat)
So how is your horse, FAST EDDIE goingto go today LADY PENELOPE in the Cup?
Well, I will tell you a little secret my darling, my horses are always 110% fit, but EDDIE is only 28.8% fit today.
I seriously don’t think he can win today as he requires another few runs to peak at his best.
So I suggest you tell your punters not to bet on him today.
(Lady Penelope waves her white handkerchief)
Whooooo Ooooooh! I’m over here dearest!
EXT LORD HOWELL APPEARS DAY
English gentleman husband, (55), LORD HOWELL THE 3rd, top hat, bow tie and blue checked suit, OLD ENGLISH large moustache,
carrying a bookies bag, walks towards Lady Penelope.
LADY PENELOPE (Voice over)
Do you like my new hat dearest?
(Lord Howell The 3RD walks to Lady Penelope and gives her a hug and kiss on the cheek.\
EXT BARBER SUMS UP DAY
Fade in: Barber with microphone
Well there you have it punters, LADY PENELOPE says FAST EDDIE isonly 28.8% fit and cannot win!
What a scoop and how great for women around the world are my interviews,
God, I truly am the best fu%%#ng sports reporter in the world!
See you soon, I have to buy a hat, bye! (Waves)
EXT RING IN HORSE DAY
Lady Penelope and Lord Howell hold hands and skip towards the stalls.
A black horse is removed by staff and a grey horse is led in.
Staff start painting the grey horse with black paint rollers and brushes.
Spot casually walks past holding a huge dog bone and is oblivious to what is going on.
EXT HUSH KIDDIES DAY
Lady Penelope calls her staff to gather around.
LADY PENELOPE (Finger to her lips)
Gather around kiddies, I want complete hush, hush here.
I have just set up big odds for our ring in horse and now everything is in place for our next big plunge.
Remember children, not a word to anyone!
Do you like my new hat?
(Staff nod their heads)
LORD HOWELL THE 3RD
Oh well done lovey-dovey, you workedthe media brilliantly once again; this will be another money, money, money result for me.
(Rubbing his hands together, big smiles.
You devilish creature you!
(Kisses her on the cheek)
Thank you dearest, it’s all part of being the world’s best horse trainer.
(They are all smiles and watch the staff paint their horse)
EXT THE DRUNK AT THE SPA DAY
A 6 seater bubbling Spa in front of the bar with 4 topless girls in it, drinking, people nearby DRINK and DANCE.
The Drunk, staggers, stumbles over to the spa, steps in with clothes on, sits down, careful not to spill one drop of his drink.
TIPS his bowler hat to the ladies, takes a sip of his drink. He observes the ladies.
A lady opposite him bends her wet head down forward in front of The Drunk.
The Drunk RUBS with his finger on the top of a lady’s short black hair.
THE DRUNK (Subtitle)
Your virgina is missing!
(Girls laugh out loud; he finishes his drink, tips his hat, climbs out of the spa and staggers off)
EXT COURSE ANNOUNCERS TOWER (Voice over )DAY
Obnoxious, laughter from the tower.
INT HONEST BOB AND THE PUNTERS DAY
Grand Stand lounge, Punters Club host HONEST BOB (40), black cape, thin lip moustache, top hat, long cigarette holder in his mouth, villainous personality, has raised $200 million (figure on white board) for today’s Punters Club, stands alone on stage. Cut to
INT PUNTERS CLUB MEMBERS DAY
30 persons seated in front of him, sports persons, old and young persons, Sheiks, The Queen, Asian business men, Sheep, Nudist.
James is seated at the back.
Three ladies seated in the front row have their legs open, revealing their coloured nickers.
INT HONEST BOB WELCOMES DAY
Honest Bob greets punters.
HONEST BOB (Grinning)
Hi you lucky punters I am HONEST BOB and it’s good to see so many very intelligent people here today … for a change!
Today we have $200 million in thePunters Club and I have sure fire tips today that will win!
INT PUNTERS SMILES DAY
FADE OUT: Punters Club members all smiles.
Our target today is to win $2 billion. How good does that sound?
Mr James Conway CEO 28.8
“The Best Fitness Tipping Site in the World!”