Hi punters we are live again tomorrow for another triple header and this article is a response to UK's continous late starts.
EXT RACING COMMENTATOR ON TRACK DAY
Paul standing in front of the grand stands with his microphone.
PAUL
Good afternoon punters, once again we are
running late as one of the Jockeys will be
walking their charges to the barrier
I have the club President with me, Sir Henry Late-again
(Sir Henry Late-again walks over in front of the camera)
Good afternoon Sir Henry, things are going
well for the club today with yet another delay.
SIR HENRY LATE-AGAIN
Thank you Paul, yes as you know I am the 4th generation
of Late-again Presidents of this club.
We need to run late every race to get extra betting
revenue in as the Racing Associations don’t pay us enough.
PAUL
But what about the punters, Sir Henry
SIR HENRY LATE-AGAIN
Stuff the punters, we want the money, oh and
By the way No 9 in the next races will be walking
to the stalls in this race. We had it fitness rated on 99%
and with no weight on its back for 5 minutes less than other
horses, we the committee think it’s a good thing.
Cut to
INT Members canteen DAY
3 well-dressed stewards walk into the canteen and sit down on a round table.
ROBERT (calls over a girl)
Good afternoon miss, we are back again, can we have
a pot of tea and a plate of scones, jams and cream please.
WAITRESS
Certainly Chief Steward, coming up.
MARTIN (Assistant Chief Steward)
These race delays are a dream, what a good job we have.
(Gets a deck of cards out of his coat pocket and starts shuffling)
PHILLIP (Assistant, Assistant Chief Steward)
2 quid a point mates as he starts to deal?
(Other stewards nod their head)
(Waitress brings back their order and places on the table)
(All together they lift their both arms up in joy and high 5!)
YUMMY!
(Robert calls the waitress back again)
ROBERT
Excuse me Miss, but the next race there will
be a delay and I do suggest you have a quid or two on the
9 as 99% fit and will get a 5 minute weight relief before the race.
We three will be back in about 30 minutes, can we
now order Fish N Chips please.
WAITRESS
Certainly Sir, and thanks for the tip, I will post on the
Betfair community forum for punters.